Men Don't Need to Be Tricked, They Just Need the Truth
I cringe when I see articles with titles like Men Falling In Love With You, or Men Tricked Out Of You. The idea of cheating on a man in a relationship seems like a misguided endeavor. The idea of men cheating on something seems degrading and humiliating to men.
Trust and honesty are the foundation of relationships. I keep this in mind when I write about men. What I write comes from twenty years of experience working with men. The data is valid, frequently emotional, and above all, 100% genuine. My code is simple. Unnecessary advice is the lowest form of conversation.
Information from someone sharing a story from their heart is credible because it comes from a deep, emotional place and therefore has absolute truth. His story doesn't need to be glossed over or altered to be relevant because this first-hand peek into the male psyche is compelling and authentic.
My essential objective is to console men that they never again need to remain solitary before the mirror and deal with their own concerns, re-thinking themselves. They are capable of having loving, caring male friends for life, men who will be there for them through a divorce, dating, relationship problems, unemployment, anger, and any other problem that stands between them and happiness. I often talk to groups and end with a simple question. Who will you call the next time life is lost? A blank stare is enough. Most men have no support system and it is completely unnecessary.
The solution to an inquiry ladies frequently pose, "Where could every one of the great men be"?Nice people meet in small groups a few times a month, helping each other work through issues that hinder all of their relationships. If a woman meets a man who does this, at least she will know that he cares enough about his behavior with other men to work on it. He is a man who knows how to speak not only from his head but from his heart. When you ask him how he's feeling, he won't tell you what he's thinking. I think women will find that refreshing. Disputes can be resolved without going to the circle.
Workshops and weekends are best for men that promise instant, authentic masculinity. Teaching men about sacred stones, warrior training, or drumming in the jungle will not provide lasting, meaningful insights into how to be better men. There are no shortcuts to overcoming the life problems that hold a man back. His success depends entirely on his commitment to working with other men.
Besides straightening out your life, one of the great things about working with other men is that it's free. There are no dues, memberships, or commitments other than showing up for meetings. No need for a leader, doctor, or anything else. Everyone in the room should feel equally empowered.
When therapists run men's groups for a fee, that turns the group into a business. This work should never be a business. It's about men's lives, and it's too personal to make a business. Men are able to work through their problems without supervision. Consider that eight, forty-year-old men experience three hundred years of life sitting in one room.
A man does not need counsel in divorce; He needs to hear what other men have gone through and how they felt when they experienced his problem. He needs to hear what works and what doesn't work for other men. He needs to hear how they felt when experiencing his problem. Know what they have learned. She needs genuine friendship shared by men with integrity when their hearts are open enough to tell their truth.
It takes years to build a wall around a man's heart to protect it from pain. Breaking down that wall brick by brick takes time and faith. Achieving this opens a man's heart to associations with ladies and fellowships with different men. Men don't have to face the world alone. There is no virtue in being a lone wolf. It's like slowly committing mental suicide.
